Are You Clear on What You Really Want?

Lenses matter.

That is a tough question. There are the easy answers like, I want to be happy, loved, have meaningful friendships, and be successful.

But when it comes down to YOU and what YOU say you want, do you know what that is?

Who Gets To Decide What You Want?

As we grow up, oftentimes our goals are set by our parents, teachers, our sphere of influence, even social media. The world we live in has created what is referred to as “should-based” goals. Should-based goals are based on what you feel you should be working toward. Sometimes these goals don’t match what you really want to do or what you value.

The key is to identify your “value-based” goals. These are the goals that are aligned with your core, personal values, and priorities. These are the goals that YOU set for yourself based on what you want in life.

If you have a hard time HONESTLY answering the question “what do you want” it may be because there is a conflict between what you feel you should want and what it is that you REALLY want.

How Can You Get Clarity on What You Want?

One way to discover what you want is to view it through the lens of systems.  Last month, we talked about systems and how they are how we live our lives and achieve our goals. They are the small routines and habits that are in place to move us through our days and weeks and years.

What systems ultimately become are lifestyles. If you consider that everything you do now is the result of how you live your life, you’ll see that lifestyles really do dictate where you end up. Goals are what you set, systems are what you create, lifestyles are how you live that out.

When you want to achieve something or need to create a system, you must consider the lifestyle it will require of you.

What Are You Willing to Do?

You may find yourself inside the tension of declaring what you want, but not being willing do what it takes to get there. The most clarifying question you can ask yourself: “Am I willing to do what it takes?” Knowing what you are willing to do is key in gaining more insight into whether the goal is really yours, really what you want, and really how you want to live your life.

If you’ve been with us for any amount of time, you know that we love questions, like the one above. We have seen so much greatness come from getting curious with ourselves and others that we have decided to talk about this in our April 12th workshop. If you want to join others to learn more about this #1 Intelligence trait, click here to register.

Join us next month to continue this conversation.