How Are You, Really?

What's the real question here?

We live in a culture where the question, “how are you?” is so casual the meaning has almost been lost. We pose this question to people we don’t know and to people who won’t actually tell us. It can even be an empty ask with the people close to us. And I don’t think we want to be empty. I think we want to stand out and be authentic, in which case this question does us no favors.

Unless we really mean it…

I experienced this first-hand as my daughter’s teacher stopped to ask me this question recently. I could tell she meant it. This led to a genuine conversation with honest feelings and emotions, and the impact of this – that question – has stuck with me. It was an indication of thoughtfulness, depth, and EQ. We couldn’t talk productively about math problems until we talked about how we were managing with school and work at home in this season. Getting real helped us get to results.

What we’re talking about is curiosity. The thing about curiosity is that it diffuses judgment in an instant, while cultivating growth within us and around us. When we lean in with curiosity, we widen the space for someone to be real with us, therefore opening ourselves up to learn, grow, and deepen a relationship. The difference between a curious leader who asks questions they REALLY want to know the answer to, and the leader who asks questions that serve their own agenda or check a box means drastically different influence and results. Your people are smart, they know the difference.

It’s my passion to connect you to what matters, and this does.

There are people on your team (and in your home) right now who need a genuine “how are you?”. They need to know they matter and that what they are experiencing, good or bad, matters, too. I want you to step into this opportunity and see what happens FOR you. And FOR someone else. We’ve all heard Maya Angelou’s famous quote, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Now is your chance to make them feel like they matter. 

And for you, leaders, I want to know how YOU are, really. Email me @ [email protected] and join me for free, open Zoom calls on Thursdays in May at 2 PM EST. Check your email for details.