had the opportunity last month to lead a conversation with some incredible women in commercial real estate.
It was an intimate lake setting where everyone felt like they could relax.
Sometimes changing the space we’re in changes a lot.
The topic for this discussion was self awareness and here’s why:
Accenture did extensive CEO research years ago, which appeared in Daniel Goleman’s bestseller, Focus. Here’s an excerpt:
“When Accenture interviewed 100 CEOs about the skills they needed to run a company successfully, a set of 14 abilities emerged… No one person could have them all. But there is one ‘meta’ ability that emerges from research on leadership: self-awareness.”
Leaders need to be able to assess their own strengths and weaknesses, and so surround themselves with a team of people whose strengths… complement their own.
You don’t have to be a CEO to get this. This is a trait we should all care to have more of.
Especially when you consider that it’s a trait we want everyone else to possess.
While our entire lake discussion was rich, the most memorable part of that experience is what happened at the end.
As we wrapped up our session, I asked the women in the room to name and celebrate the strengths they saw in each other. This is one of the practices we share at the end of Emerge and LEAD. It’s shockingly unusual for people – and at first, uncomfortable. We’re not used to receiving others’ words in such a celebratory way. (BTW this should be our first clue to get more reps.)
The impact of that experience – where people had the opportunity to both give AND receive words of acknowledgement and encouragement, is something they all remember most from that day.
Because something in them needed to hear it. We all do.
What are we missing when we miss the opportunity to give and receive encouragement?
So much. It significantly reduces awareness. And the ability to truly discern our strengths and our weaknesses. Knowing what we’re good at, and being honest about what we’re not.
I told these women and I’ll say it here, we would be infinitely more open to hearing what opportunities we have to shift behaviors, if we could own our own superpowers first.
Not to mention the ripple effect of the confidence gained.
When we’re clear on what we bring to the table, we get clearer on what to hold onto and what to let go of. And we make room for the people around us to step into their strengths, too.
In the spirit of building self awareness, here’s some inspo for cultivating some of yours:
BOOK:
When I talk about self awareness, I love to share this great book by Thomas Erikson, whose consulting work with one CEO sparked years of research and his bestseller, Surrounded by Idiots. This exact statement was a line this CEO loved to say when he referenced the people in his orbit who did things differently. It inspired Erikson to go the opposite direction – to make sure he approached the world with an understanding of what makes people tick and how a leader can learn to read the room vs assuming everyone else is the problem. If you’re looking for a fun way to build awareness of your own leadership styles and others, this book will make you laugh and even cringe a little. I dare you to read it.
PODCAST:
I’ll listen to any conversation Brené Brown is a part of, and I always, always learn something big from her. I recently caught this replayed moment on Diary of a CEO where she and Steven Bartlett discuss the role of vulnerability in relationships and in leadership.
This is not a new topic, but somehow she has a way of creating a new perspective: you can’t have courage or bravery without vulnerability. Courage and bravery I want. Vulnerability, not so much. I feel this deeply before hard conversations. Or when I say yes to something I haven’t done before. Vulnerability is all about uncertainty and neither of these things has a guaranteed outcome. So we trade the anxiety and vulnerability for the bravery and courage. And when we do, it’s always worth it.
QUOTE:
Self awareness gives us freedom. To live and leverage our genius, and to tweak what isn’t working for us.
So as you celebrate freedom and the 250th anniversary of our country this weekend, consider your opportunity to create a different kind of freedom – one for yourself.
Wishing you a Happy 4th.